Marvel’s Secret Wars has lasted so long, it’s had the time to spawn a romance book! That’s right, Lonely Hearts takes a look at all five stories from the Secret Wars Secret Love one-shot, taking many meandering detours through comics and movies minutia on the journey. That’s what happens when you put these four guys in the same room. Plus, Romance Comics Theatre!
Listen to Episode 5! (The usual filthy filthy language warnings apply.)
You can play the podcast using the player above or by right-clicking “download”, choosing “Save Target/Link As”, and selecting a location on your computer to save the file (71MB).
Or subscribe to the Lonely Hearts Podcast on iTunes!
Secret Wars Secret Love’s cover is a tribute to an age-old favorite!
And here’s our very short, but informative, installment of Romance Comics Theatre!
Further credits :
“Comic Book Romance” (Theme for Lonely Hearts Podcast) by Johnny and the Jokers.
“Here’s to the Losers” (End theme for Lonely Hearts Podcast) by James (Vic Fontaine) Darren.
Relevant teaser clip from “Mister Roboto” by Styx.
Additional audio:
Romance Comics Theatre Music: “On Sale Now” by Daniel May
Bonus clips from: “Predator” by John McTiernan, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Carl Weathers; “Mister Roboto” by Jeffster; “We Don’t Need Another Hero” by Tina Turner; “Wedding March” by Mendelssohn; “Why Can’t I Be You?” by The Cure; “Stayin’ Alive” by The Bee Gees; and the Shaw Bros. fanfare.
Thanks for leaving a comment, Lonely Hearts!
The Lonely Hearts Romance Comics Podcast 
That final shopping guy? Gay.
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Furn certainly played him that way! It was the 60s, men needed beards!
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Another great episode! If you don’t mind a suggestion for a future episode topic, Crimson Peak has got me all in the mood to revisit some gothic romances. Would love to hear your collective take on that genre.
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Seconded!
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Another great episode! I haven’t been reading Secret Wars, so I missed the Secret Love issue, but now I want to track that down.
If you don’t mind a suggestion for a future topic, Crimson Peak has got me in the mood for some gothic romance and I’d love to hear you guys talk about something like Haunted Love or Forbidden Tales of Dark Mansion.
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Yes, this is a likely pit stop for us. Look for it in the coming months!
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Sorry for the dual comment. Got impatient!
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I’ve been avoiding Secret Wars, and will probably continue to do so largely on principle due to an aversion to continuity reboots at this point. However I have to admit that these little divergences sounded quite fun. Who knows, maybe this “event” will yield some positive outcomes after all. But for now I’ll probably still keep my distance and let podcasts keep me up to date by proxy.
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💔 Okay. This one. I have to confess that I was incapable of paying attention to this episode, drifting off/dropping/picking up again at least a half dozen times. I blame the Secret Wars event itself, which my brain perceives as a linewide Countdown: Arena taking place in a universe I’m less invested in with alternate versions of characters I don’t like or were created long after I gave up reading Marvel on any kind of grand scale. I grew up on Marvel and enjoy their movies a lot more than DC’s, but the main reason I’m on a Marvel podcast is that I was burnt out on modern DC blogging and Mac would be incapable of contributing significantly to a DCU show. Through no fault of yours, I’m saying, but that’s what happened.
💔 I own a comprehensive Typhoid Mary story collection… and a couple issues of the Elektra series from the ’90s where she fought a bunch of Marvel martial arts characters. I was big on Born Again, but not as wowed by Miller’s first run versus early Nocenti or late Denny O’ Neil.
💔 I don’t understand why Marvel built up such a complex multiversal cosmology over the past decade only to Crisis it after seeing how well that all worked out for DC. Then again, both companies have been locked in a codependent incestual dance of industry death for so long that they’re hard to tell apart most days.
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Secret Wars: Completely understandable. I knew that would happen to people going in who didn’t care for the event.
As to whether the MU was Crisis-ed, jury’s still out. I refuse to read a Marvel comic until Secret Wars actually ends. Which might mean I’ll never read a Marvel comic again. Seeing as I haven’t read a DC Comic since Convergence, that frees up a lot of time to do things like podcasts.
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💔 I bought a bunch of Convergence books. In error.
💔 Aside from Martian Manhunter, the only DC titles I’ve bought monthly since Justice League of America have been out of continuity Wonder Woman stuff, first Sensation Comics, and now the upcoming “Legend of…” I don’t regret the Wonder Woman purchases. Oddly enough, I pre-ordered the first issues of Patsy Walker and Red Wolf, will continue on Hellcat, and plan to add Black Panther monthly as well. If Red Wolf somehow doesn’t suck, I’ll be buying more Marvel than DC routinely for the first time in twenty years.
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The only Convergence book REALLY worth the getting was the Shazam one. Wow. That thing was beautiful.
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I have that one, but haven’t read it because I was saving it for last and working through a series of related partially recorded podcast segments left unfinished for months now. Which contributed to the derailing of all my little satellite DC mini-shows, as well.
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