Our fourth episode is all to do with the love triangle between Archie, Betty and Veronica, and in particular, how it all culminated in the Life of Archie series that led to Archie’s very death. All to do? Not quite! We also have a nice helping of Romance Comics Theatre for you as well, from a vintage 60s Charlton Comics source!
Listen to Episode 4! (The usual filthy filthy language warnings apply.)
You can play the podcast using the player above or by right-clicking “download”, choosing “Save Target/Link As”, and selecting a location on your computer to save the file (61MB).
Or subscribe to the Lonely Hearts Podcast on iTunes!
We mention an Archie (actually, Betty & Me) cover, so have to prove its existence. Here we go:
And here’s the play’s script so you can follow along:
Further credits :
“Comic Book Romance” (Theme for Lonely Hearts Podcast) by Johnny and the Jokers.
“Here’s to the Losers” (End theme for Lonely Hearts Podcast) by James (Vic Fontaine) Darren.
Relevant teaser clip from the premiere of “Sugar, Sugar” on the Archie animated series (1969) as sung by the Archies.
Additional audio:
Romance Comics Theatre Music: “Aloha Oe”, Hawaiian traditional
Proper attribution of quote over: “On Sale Now” by Daniel May
Bonus clips from: “Tu veux ou tu veux pas” by Brigitte Bardot; “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” by Stephen Chbosky, starring Logan Lerman; and one of the Harry Potter films (I can’t easily tell them apart), starring Rupert Grint
Thanks for leaving a comment, Lonely Hearts!
The Lonely Hearts Romance Comics Podcast 
Another great show!
One of the things this show does is force me to remember my own rocky romantic life in my teens! So thanks (I think).
I consider myself on TeamBetty. But as with Toni of last issue, I doubt I would have had the guts to make a romantic pitch.
I love ‘Schrodinger’s Relationship’ as a term. Just fantastic.
And I will echo The Fountain as a great movie to just immerse yourself in. I have tried many times to decipher just what the ‘space tree’ piece represents. Is it a metaphor? If so of what? Is it really happening? Wonderful thought provoking film.
I was so geeked up about the Solaris movies that I read the book. The relationship piece is just a small portion of that novel which more reads like a geological journal/travelogue of the planet. I would not recommend that as highly as I did the movies.
Thanks again!
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Yes, the Lem novel is very hard SF, if I’m not mistaken. But I still want to see the Russian film at some point. And another vote for Team Betty – I wonder if she just seems more approachable.
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Archie is one of those comics I’ve always had an awareness of but I’m not sure if I ever actually read any of them. That said, on principle alone I love the way that they tackled the “who did he marry” conundrum in Life with Archie. I’m a firm believer in the power of unanswered questions, and that even though there are people screaming loudly “We NEED to know!” that often it’s better to not resolve the mystery. It reminds me of some of the dancing Doctor Who has done in regards to some of its big mysteries (such as the Doctor’s real name) teasing that there is an answer but not ever actually giving it. My own personal favorite example is from the End of Time two-parter that ended David Tennant’s run as the Doctor. In that story there was an unnamed older woman character, that the writers have said is implied to be the Doctor’s mother. However because they were smart enough not to make that explicit in the episode itself I am free to believe my preference that it is in fact the Doctor’s former companion Romana. I just love this kind of writing where it can be satisfying without closing the book on possibilities. It’s a tricky thing to get right, and it sounds like this comic really nailed it.
P.S. I apologize if my melodious voice appearing in the Lonely Hearts Theater segment caused any listeners to swoon, but I can’t help it. It’s my burden.
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Ambiguity for the win! I’m the same. I don’t need definitive answers so long as there are subtextual answers available. And thanks for lending your voice Nathaniel! People can reach us on Facebook to obtain a role in the next one! You could be the next Romance Comics Theatre star, just like him!
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Great show guys! FYI Anyone interested in romance comics or romance novels may be interested in visiting the Browne Popular Culture Library at Bowling Green State University (https://www.bgsu.edu/library/pcl/romance.html) The library also is holds the archive for the Romance Writers of America Association. My name is Chuck Coletta and I teach in the Dept of Popular Culture at BGSU. I love that you’re spreading the word on comics of all kinds!!
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Hey! I’m a lady and I listen to your podcast so might as well TRY to shed some lights on “Why Archie?!” (spoiler alert… It probably won’t help at all… Also sorry for the length of this…)
I read a lot of Archie comic as a kid! This is the way I’ve always seen this: Betty, Veronica and Archie were friends when they were kids and it evolved into something more. I personally have a hard time imagining myself being in love with a guy without us being good friends beforehand.You get used to be around this person, you’re at ease with him/her and you just end up wanting to spend even more time together. It’s just a normal thing! He’s a good guy that is stuck between his two best friends and he’s afraid of hurting them. In the comic I read, Archie was a sweetheart, always trying to help out but failing miserably most of the time. I find it kinda cute. And like you said, he can be funny and plays in a band and I’m sure there is an occasion or two when he proved himself worthy during a camping trip! 😉
I don’t think it has a lot to do with his appearance, he’s a redhead after all #SorryNotSorry! I found interesting what you had to say about the girls wanting him because they see him with the other. The whole “wanting the one person you can’t have” theory. I could see that being the case. You see two people together and start wondering what they find in each other. Than you start finding answers to that question and that’s a way (a weird one sure) to find another person’s worth in a romantic perspective.
Finally, have you seen the other guys in that universe? Clearly Archie’s by far the sanest guy around! If we put aside Reggie, Jughead and Moose, we never really met any other guy. Can you blame them for choosing Archie in these circumstances? I know he’s the one I would be going after if those were the only dating options in my isolated (both in time and space) little town.
OMG the bloopers!!! Cecitte est pire que Catégorie libre! Mike Tonight! You can hear the exasperation in Siskoid’s voice! Brilliant!!! Thanks again for the entertainment guys! (I know I’m biased but ask me if I care!!!)
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Archie has been doing some really innovative stories over the last few years. They have been dealing with themes of race, class, homosexuality, and other diversity issues. I’d recommend you checking out the new “Afterlife with Archie” series which is not at all for kids. Think the Walking Dead come to Riverdale. It’s a true horror comics. The new Chilling Adventures of Sabrina may be even more provocative!
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Afterlife with Archie (and the Sabrina book too) is (are) awesome. I agree. Still have to check out what Mark Waid is doing with the new Archie book.
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Terrific show again, you of Romeos. I have to say, I liked the Return to Rivrdale TV film, how could you not enjoy a hiphop version of Return to Riverdale?
I’ve read a good few Life With Archie comics and liked them loads. Not showing Archie’s wife in that last issue was very DC Silver and Bronze Age. I wonder if they have Super-Sons.
‘Schrodinger’s relationship’ – that’s rather brilliant.
How about doing a Legion romance of two? Saturn Girl and Lightning Lad’s certainly had some surprises…
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Leaving the Legion romances to my Hot or Not group over at the Legion of Super-Bloggers for now ;-).
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💔 I remember Archies as the things you read when you’d read everything else and were probably hanging out at a girl’s house. One Christmas, my stepsister gave me one or two Archie Adventure Series titles, a random issue of the Wagner Demon mini-series, and an Archie she’d obviously bought for herself but threw in after reading… which was still a way better gift than I deserved and probably more than I ever gave her in return. I’ve tried to read them as an adult, including buying that first 1,000 page cheap digest they put out, and I still think they’re garbage. The only thing I dig about them are the DeCarlo model hotties, and I frankly worked out any frustration they inspired through clandestinely acquired Cherry Poptarts in my teens. Patsy Walker comics are WAY better than Archies, even without the mindbending ties to mainstream Marvel continuity in a variety of genres (which she did way before Archie ever considered such a move.)
💔 If I were lucky, I’d end up with Betty, find her terribly boring, and shag Veronica on the side. If it went the other way, I’d probably hate my overly dramatic life with Veronica who I could never get away with catting around on, not that a goody-goody like Betty would be DTF anyway. Cheryl Blossom is too much woman for my sorry ass.
💔 Mrs. Sam Brennon was disturbingly neurotic. My sympathies to The Romance Comics Theatre Players.
💔 Great episode and analysis!
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I like that you preface that with “If I were lucky”, because clearly, if it were me going to Riverdale High, I would not be getting with any of them, not even Ethel. If we’re being realistic about my late-and-infrequently blossoming self.
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Oh, ditto. I was talking about the version of me that wasn’t a clueless loser mopey pseudo-rebel drifter in thrift store clothes who couldn’t tell which girls liked me before many years of hindsight and wouldn’t have had the stones or the game to do anything about it anyway coupled with crippling self-esteem issues that made me think anytime a girl giggled in my earshot she was mocking me with her friends.
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Right, the version of you also drawn by Dan DeCarlo. That should make the terrain a little more even.
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